I am catching up with posting online my articles.
This is the continuation of the previous article:
EXPERIMENTING WITH THE SLEEP AGAIN - PART 42
I made the same mistake last night. I lied down on the sofa to have a rest from the computer but then I ended up falling asleep and eventually I woke up after about 6 hours. In the afternoon there came the moment of tiredness and normally I would consider making a short siesta but as I write yesterday I am trying to push myself through these moments and see what it will happen. Thus I did not allow myself to take this afternoon siesta and I went to see couple of friends. When I was with them I did not really think about my tiredness anymore. Only when I got back home after midnight I started to be aware of it. Though my plan is to stay awake all night. At least I will avoid lying down on the bed.
Now... I had another interesting observation today. Thus I was looking at the point of what would happen if I had to made the absolute decision about not sleeping ever again. You'll know... once I made this kind of decision in regards to masturbation while watching porn. I decided to stop doing it as I realised that this is something which does not give me anything beneficial in my life and as a matter of fact it makes it fucked up. And thus I have chosen and decided clearly and definitely that I will never do it again. At some point it felt like I am taking away something from my life which had a great value and I had in some way a feeling of regret or something like this. This was something which was best for all and I had no doubts about it but then there was this feeling of losing something valuable from my life.
And so now I am at the point when I consider making similar decision in regards to sleep. Though here the situation is different as I do not have it so clear that this is something that is best for all. And as a matter of fact I have some thoughts that this could be detrimental to my health. But then there are other points which in a way encourage me to make this kind of decision. Thus one of these points is that I have this feeling that if I stopped sleeping I would lose something valuable.
And what is so valuable for me in sleep ?
Well... I see that I would regret that I would have to take away my beds from my bedroom which looks so nice. Now I remember I have already written something about this point. But well... I guess it is important as it comes up again. And then I would also lose all of those moments of lying down comfortably in my bed and snoozing and feeling lazy.
Anyway when I write about it now, I realise that this must be the thoughts coming from the subconscious or unconscious mind. You'll know... they were always there but I did not see them as they were floating underneath the surface. But now they are coming up and I start to see them.
You'll know... it is really not easy for me to go through this process with the sleep. It is very unpleasant to "fight" with this tiredness. But then I do not want to go back to the normal routine of sleeping for 6-8 hours a day as I know that this never gives me a satisfaction and good rest. I may feel good for some time but then this is temporary. And apart from this I hear it very often that even though I "feel good" from having a "good sleep" I look very "tired and wasted". Inside of me I feel good but people see the opposite on my face ( bags under my eyes ). Thus you'll see... this is something which pushes me towards making my experiment with the sleep and making the absolute decision of stopping sleep completely.
To be continued