I am catching up with posting online my articles.
Final thoughts and realisations in regards to the cockroaches...
It is obvious to me that in some point of my life I have allowed myself to accept a belief that cockroaches are dirty and disgusting. I don't remember when and where it happened but I have carried it in my mind for some period of time and I have given my energy to it. And now I react automatically with disgust when I see a cockroach. But this is not all because this reaction has become "normal" to me ( in the end "everybody" else has the same reaction ) and I did not question it at all. Only now when I saw magnified pictures of insect showing the details of their body I started to realise that they are not so dirty and disgusting as I thought and I started to ask myself question "WTF ?".
Thus I can see now that I have created an illusion within my mind, I have given my power and energy to it and I have made it "look real". But it is not. With this illusion ( belief ) which I have given a lot of energy to I have made myself blind to the facts of the reality. Well... this is not the first and not the last time when I realise it but I am glad that I have done it now.
With this realisation I have come to a point when I start to look with respect at cockroach walking on my kitchen counter instead of trying to kill him with the spray. Instead of reacting with disgust I have started to admire the way the cockroach moves swiftly.
I have also come to the point of intending to touch the cockroach with my hand. I have not done it yet but I will do it. If the cockroach allows me to do it !!!... because within that I have also realised that we need "2 to tango". And the cockroach himself has also a lot of fear of me and humans in general. And no surprise !!!... because we have been "always" treating them as something disgusting and killing them. And thus the cockroach must also face his own fears and push himself through it. He must also make an effort to give up his automated reaction and start to trust me that I will not harm him. Thus my plan is to place my hand next to the cockroach and allow him to walk on it if he wants to do it. I will not push him and force him to do it because otherwise it would be a sign that I want to prove something for my ego.
Cockroach - just like any other animal or insect or human - is an expression of life and if I react in disgust towards life then I am fucking retard.