I am catching up with posting online my articles.
Let's say that your friend is in need and you offer him your help. You let him live in your house for free and to show your good heart and hospitality you say that he may feel like in his own house.
It is really wonderful that you are so unconditional and I wish that everybody in this world was like this.
But then after couple 2-3 weeks you notice that your friend is kind of ignorant and disrespectful of your kindness. Thus he doesn't respect that you need to rest at night and he puts the TV or music very loud. He lives in your house but doesn't clean the house and you have to clean his mess. He lives there for free but yet he goes out to bars quite often and comes home under influence of alcohol. You feel that you are getting sick and you ask him to do you a favour by going to the supermarket but he says that he is busy.
And there are many other things like this when you see that your friend is simply abusing your good heart. He feels great living in your home but for you it starts to become nightmare. You don't like it but you don't confront the situation with your friend trying to find the constructive solution but instead you are hoping that he will change.
Now... look at the fact in regards to hope... if hope was effective in the process of change then this whole world would already change long time ago because there are literally billions of people in this world who wish and hope that this world changes. And it is not. Even hoping that almighty god does something about it is not effective and nothing really changes for better and as a matter of fact it is going the opposite way.
Another important point... process of change is very specific and it requires practical actions on behalf of the person. Thus look closely at the actions of your friend. At the moment he is abusing your kindness and is taking advantage of you. He demonstrates it every day and living with him becomes slowly a nightmare for you. And the possibility that he will continue living and behaving like he is now is very high while the possibility that he will change out of nothing is very low. Unfortunately this is very typical behaviour of humans and hoping that he will change is very little.
Thus what can we do in this situation ?
Practically the solution to this situation is very simple and easy but yet I know that for many people this is a very difficult step to take. Anyway the best way to deal with it is to stop hoping and supressing that you are disappointed with this kind of irresponsible behaviour and simply communicate it to your friend. And then you need to find a constructive solution which is best for both of you.
But then if your friend is not interested in finding the constructive solution for both of you or if he says that he will change but continues with the same shit, then you must make the decision yourself which is best for both of you. And that simply means that you must ask your "friend ?" to leave your house.
Now... if you continue hoping and you don't work on the constructive solution for both of you, then you will have to face the consequences of it. And it is not going to be nice at all. I guarantee that you will regret it later.