Catching up with posting online my articles because of being fed up with the working on the computer. I am witting my articles every day as part of my commitment... just posting is lagging...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to motivate myself through feeling guilty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to achieve my goals and complete the projects in the shortest possible time without considering the limits of my physical body; within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize I have desired to feel good by achieving the goals in the shortest possible time and within that I have allowed myself to abuse my body by ignoring its needs and limits.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I am creating a state of feeing tired, exhausted and feeling fed up with my work so that later I may feel guilty and motivate myself with this guilt to work hard and many hours and achieve my goals in the shortest possible time so that I may feel good about myself.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that I manifest the situation of feeling tired, exhausted and fed up with my work so that later I may feel better when I achieve my goals and tasks in the shortest possible time and the difference between the low the high gives me stronger sensation and illusion of feeling better about myself.
And thus here we are... this is the realization from this whole experience... I am creating ups and downs so that I may feel better about myself. And the greater the difference between the low and the high, the more I feel better about myself. But within this I need to have a point of comparison / point of reference of feeling down so that I may feel good about myself and thus I am creating the cycle of the ups and downs.