I didn't have access to internet in the last few days and I need to post the other articles first. Thus I am posting my article today.

This is the continuation of the previous article:

ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATION WITH MY BODY - PART 1
ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATION WITH MY BODY - PART 2
ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATION WITH MY BODY - PART 3

Now... let's continue with my case. Once touching my body in a gentle manner I have noticed that it helps to deal not only with the annoying feeling on the itchy spots but it is also incredibly pleasant for me. Some of the readers could say: "of course !!! what the big deal about it ?... it is normal !!!".Well... maybe it is normal for you but it was not normal for me.

Wow... once I have written the last sentence I have posed for few minutes and suddenly I started to open more things and I start to realize another extremely important point within this whole case of my sickness... wow... !!!

Thus let's have a look at my relation to touch throughout my life. I remember that I didn't like to be touched already as a little kid. Until now I would not be able to say at what age and when was the exact moment when it all started. I was blank in my mind until few moments ago when this one memory came to the surface. Interesting again how it all starts to open by itself... !!! Thus I was probably 2-3 years old and I was with my father who took me to some kind of office to do some of his stuff. There were people ( women ) working at their desks in this office. And you know how the people behave when they see cute little kid... don't you ? They laugh, they say something like: "ohhh... you are so cute... you are so sweet... etc.". When we were leaving my father asked me to say good bye. I guess I was not speaking fluently yet and that is why I suspect that I was about 2 years old which by the way amazes me a lot in this moment that I remember this event so clearly. And it is amazing because I don't remember much stuff from my childhood.

But let's continue with my story. Thus my father asked me to say good bye. I didn't want to do it because I was feeling shy. Why did I feel shy in that moment I don't know but I guess it is also important within my case and thus I will have to look at this point as well. So I didn't want to say good bye. But my father was encouraging and "pushing" me to do it: "common Greggie... say good bye" ( in my language - polish - it is said "do widzenia" - "see you next time" ). And I did say it. I guess I said it unclearly and with the accent of a little child ( I don't know if there is a special word in english for this type of speech of children ) which seemed to be very cute and all the ladies started to laugh. But I was feeling so shy in this moment. And at the same time my father gave me a pat on my head. I would say that in that moment I felt being manipulated with his touch. Then I remember another instance when I had a very similar feeling of being manipulated when I was touched or patted by the priest on my head. And now I can also recall this moment from my memory.

At the age of about 4-5 I started to not allow others to touch me ( not always but it was coming on more often ). My parents were making jokes about it but for me it was a serious matter. I was getting angry when I was being touched and it was one of the main reasons for many fights with my brothers because if they have touched me then I started to fight with them. It is funny because during each fight I was touched by my brother a lot but this was not the point. I was fighting to establish the borders and rules of not touching me in the future.

Wow... it is completely and literally mind blowing. This is interesting and extremely important and I will continue with my story tomorrow.

To be continued...