I am catching up with posting online my articles.
I have not had this feeling for some time now. In the last couple of days I was doing more intensive meditation with visualisation and it looks like something starts to change in me but at the same time there is resistance to this change. This resistance manifests itself in the feeling that I need to do something desperately to suppress this feeling. And I have this necessity to do some silly things like wasting time on the computer, masturbation etc. I have fallen into the trap of playing computer game until late at night.
This feeling is very uncomfortable with concentration in my legs. But at the same time I am pleased to have it because it shows me that I am doing something effectively. Though I am not effective in pushing and going straight through it. I have already experience with it and I think I know what it all means and all that I should be dong is continue to meditation and breathe and eventually this feeling would disappear.
Although I wasted some time on the computer I managed to do some dance practice and I cleaned a little bit my house.
Now I go to sleep. But before I will do my meditation.