I am catching up with posting online my articles.
But these are just temptations. The cry of the old habits that want my attention. The desperate begging to give them more of my energy so that they may continue to exist in my mind, my body and in my life. Without me they cannot exist. I have fallen many times into the trap of these temptations and have given my energy to it which resulted in falling back into the old, boring pattern. And because I was giving my focus and my energy to it, so I was continuously creating the same boring experience. And through this I was preventing and holding myself from creating and experiencing something new in my life.
As I said... these desperate voices of the old habits which want my energy are there. And it is a challenge to say no to it. And sometimes it feels like this is never going to end. And it seems like I am in hell. And sometimes it seems that there is no sense in doing anything and wanting to experience something new because you doubt yourself that you are able to create something new. And in the past I fell into this trap many times. But I do not want to do it any more. I do not know if I will be able to create something new. But at least I am certain that I have the power to stop what I have been doing for a long time and which became really boring. So at least I will stop this. And I know that I have the power in my hands to do it.
Anyway... I know that this hell will stop at some points when I stop giving my energy and keep alive this old patterns eventually they will diminish and return to source. And they will stay there as long as I do not call upon them to come back to my life. So all I need to do is to hold on no matter what. Just breathe and hold on. Eventually it will all cease. And then most probably I will be free and I will be able to create something new in my life. I will never know what will happen then if I do not stop these patterns now. So it is all up to me.