I am catching up with posting online my articles.
I did not sleep last night and later I had to get rest during the day. I also did some work although I did not feel like it. But still I got focused on my work and in the end it was good.
And again I face the point of not knowing what to write. Although there came a point today that I need to look at and investigate it. I spoke today with my ex and noticed again that we are at the mercy of the polarities. We interpret things in different ( opposite way ) and we cannot find a way to communicate effectively. For example few days ago I called her and I said that I would like to do something together workwise because we are very good therapists and we would be able to be a good team. Well... in the end we are not because we cannot communicate. Anyway she said that she does not feel like doing anything with me at the moment. This is not the first time that I proposed to do something thus I decided to completely give it up. But today she called me wanting to change the tension between us. Maybe you would say that this is very noble and good to do so but in the end her proposal comes as a result of polarity. Because I made the decision to reduce and finish our contact to minimum and focus on my life completely. I guess she felt it and now she tried to balance the polarity.
I want to understand better why is this happening. At the same time it shows me that I am playing a polarity game. I am charged up a positive and/or negative pole depending on the situation. And what would be the solution to stop it. At the moment I decided to stop giving my energy to this whole situation and minimize or even completely cut my contact with my ex. There is one more thing that I have to finish with her. I have to give her some belongings back. We decided to do it in couple of weeks but it is more convenient but now I see that I have to do it as soon as possible and finish this creation. It was beautiful in the beginning but unfortunately now it has turned into polarities. At least it is not violent. It is happening in a rather soft form. I guess this is a sign of my progress.