I am catching up with posting online my articles.
This is the continuation of the previous article:
ABOUT DISGUSTING COCKROACHES - PART 7
Couple of years ago I wrote the article about the disgusting cockroaches. I wrote in there how I reacted when I saw a big cockroaches running in my house ( especially in the kitchen ). At that time I was already breaking through the point of killing them automatically like most of the people do. I allowed them to be in my house because I did not want to kill them but I had a reaction of fear and disgust. I tried to get over this phobia like reaction and I considered catching one and touch him with my hand. At that time I did not do it at it was all too much for me.
Later I changed a house and I continued with the transformation of my point of disgust towards the cockroaches. My new house had more open surfaces and then it was easier for me to catch them and throw them out outside. But still I was not able to touch.
But today I did. The cockroach was only the medium size but still it was "disgusting". Anyway I pushed him onto the open space of my floor and then I surrounded it with my hands. I wanted that it gets onto my hands and stays there. It was not easy to do it as the cockroach was really scared of me. Eventually I got him to walk on my hand but this was only for a 2 seconds as it run away back on the floor. I realised that I am still presenting too much fear in me and the cockroach was reflecting it to me in his fear towards me. Thus I took the dust pan and I threw him outside.
Soon there will be warm summer and then there will be more cockroaches around. And they will be bigger. I will try again to take the bigger one on my hand but I think that the situation will be the same and the cockroach will run away from me.
In any case I can see how I am transforming my reaction of disgust into something neutral. And this change makes me more open to accept that cockroach is also manifestation of life and it should be respected and allowed to express itself as life. There is not need to kill them senselessly because of our phobia and reaction of disgust which comes from the ego and the mind.
To be continued...