I am catching up with posting online my articles.
It is really annoying that I am facing the point of not knowing what to write. But then it is kind of normal to not know what to write as again I walk on the long straight road with little changes in the landscape. And it may be like this for some time. But then this is not a problem at all because I keep walking forward.
I am looking now at the point of me making the decision 2 days ago of never again watch porn and masturbate. You'll know... by saying "never again in my life" it seems like I was taking away from myself the freedom. It seems like I was taking away something from myself. Or maybe I could say that I am taking away from myself a part of myself. I do not know how to say it exactly. But it is very interesting point. But then if I know that masturbation while watching porn is a form of abuse and self-abuse then how can it be that I take away something from me that I could regret ?!
Thus maybe I simply take away from myself the ego ?
I say it again. This is a very interesting point. You can do a similar test for yourself and see how it goes. Make an absolute and absolute decision to stop doing something harmful in your life. You'll know... it is really easy to see what is harmful and what is not. Everybody knows it. Thus make this definite decision that you will never do it again. And observe your reaction. Of you have any inner discussion within yourself then you will know that your ego tries to defend its rights to continue doing it.
This is a very interesting point and realisation. I make the decision and the commitment to not do it ever again.