I am catching up with posting online my articles.
Anyway... I realize that this is a process and it will take some time. It will and it does because I have been doing this already for 1 week and I am still not close.
But I do see some interesting improvements. I manage to get my attention onto breathing in the middle of the game and it is just that this attention get quickly lost. And then I see that I can carry this attention in my daily life. It means that I am able to become more often aware that I am not aware of my breathing and then I direct my attention towards it.
Another improvement coming out of my exercise is the developing of the skill of multitasking. I have been developing this skill for some time already but now I see that this thing with game and breathing will accelerate it even further.
Now... although I see improvements in the game itself, I fail a lot when I do other jobs on the computer. When I play the game I need to focus on the arranging and moving the balls under the pressure of time. And as I said this gets my attention away from my breathing. When I work with my computer on other things I do not have time pressure but yet I get so engaged that I loose it.
So the important point and realization here is that I give more importance to the things outside of me then to myself. And thus:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more importance to the things outside of myself rather than to myself; within this I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that by projecting my focus on the outside things while forgetting about myself I live in separation from myself.
Now... it I obvious that I have already made a commitment within myself to make the change and stop giving more value to the outside things rather than to myself. I do not manage to do it in an instant and thus it will be process. It means that I will need some time to accomplish my "task". But eventually I will do it. And this is my commitment. But at the same time I need to make clear that this thing about focusing on myself has nothing to do with the egoism. I actually do get to respect myself and take care of myself. And once I know how to do it and I prove it in real life than I will become a living example to others. And at the same time I will be ready to assist others who are also interested in returning to self instead of living in constant projection on the outside and not having a clue of who we are.