I am catching up with posting online my articles. I moved to a new place and I was without fixed internet access for almost a month. I was also very busy with work and that is why I got this big delay with posting online. Though I did not skip a single day with writing my articles.
I can see now that trying to prove that I am better than my father by earning more money than him was silly ( actually stupid ) but yet I have allowed myself to get involved into it and I have wasted time and energy on it. And although I can see now that it was silly on my part to try to prove that I am better than him, I did not see it this way back then in the moments of the discussions and making the decision.
Why I did not see it this way in the past ?
Well... it is because I was operating and functioning on the level of ego which has been offended by the remarks of my father that I am nothing and/or less than him. But now it is also obvious that my father was also operating on the level of ego thinking that he is better than me just because he earns more money. In a way it was his way to deal with the situation when his ego felt threatened by my remarks and my "philosophies" about life.
Thus in the end it was the conflict of 2 egos. But I did not see it this way at that time and I have entered on the life path where I wanted to prove that I am better than my father. Can you see the insanity and the consequences of it ? Instead of living and expressing myself as life I was trying to prove that my ego is better than my father used to think of it. Holy crap... what a silly thing to do !!! ... what a waste of time and energy !!!
And then I am not the only one who is behaving in a similar way. There are many people in this world who do various things trying to prove something about what they think about themselves which is an illusion. Instead of living their life as free expression they literally enslave themselves by some illusionary ideas about themselves within their mind.
But then it is not only about the waste of time and energy on trying to prove illusionary things. In the process of trying to prove these illusionary things we get involved in the activities which cause a lot of harm and damage in the real world. Yes... the illusions drive us to make real damage and harm others. Look... in the process of trying to earn more money than my father I could have got involved ( luckily I didn't ) into business activities, which pollute the environment, take advantage of other people etc. Once somebody is really possessed by some ideas of the mind ( ego ) then it is easy to fall into this trap and to see what he is doing harm to others. He will always find excuse and justify what he is doing.
This thing about trying to make the illusions real is a huge global problem. First of all it prevents people from living their life and expressing themselves freely and secondly it causes a lot of harm and suffering to other human beings as well as animals and the whole planet.
To be continued...