I didn't have access to internet yesterday thus I am posting my article today.

It is quite normal that partners at some point start to have problems in their relationship and with the time these problems accumulate because the partners don't solve them effectively and there comes a point when they start to look at other persons and seeing them as much better material for a partner.

What is happening here ?

1. First of all you don't see that you have allowed - together with your partner - the accumulation of too many problems which make your relationship extremely difficult.

2. You don't see that you are equally responsible for it together with your partner ( it takes 2 to tango; creation through the dynamics of polarities ) and within that you let yourself to fall into the trap of blaming your partner for all of the problems.

3. Because you don't see that you are responsible - equally with your partner - for the problems, thus you don't see and don't even consider doing anything to solve them yourself. You actually blame, push and expect all the time that your partner does something about it.

4. You don't do anything anymore yourself because you believe that you have already done everything possible from your side and thus you are expecting now your partner to do something about it as much as you did. And within this you have created certain ideas within your mind what he should be doing. All that you expecting him/her to do, doesn't have to be correct and effective ( and quite often is not ) but within this you believe strongly that this is the only way to go and then you become angry and frustrated that your partner doesn't do it.

5. Because you believe that you have done everything possible and your partner doesn't do what he/she should be doing according to your ideas which you have made in your mind, you lose hope, you give up and you start looking around at other people as potential partners. But within this you are looking at other people through the filter of wishful thinking of what your ideal partner should be. And because you have reached the point of total disappointment with your partner who doesn't do things as he/she should be doing according to your ideas thus you form a belief/illusion that anybody else will be better then your current partner. Apart from this you see other couples who are smiling, kissing and doing things together and you believe that their relationship is perfect. You looking at others through the filter of wishful thinking of what the relationship should look like and you see in other that which you wish to exist in your relationship. You don't go deeper and don't investigate everything about the relationship of others. You only see some positive aspects and later you form the rest of the happy film in your mind. And this is how you get into the belief that "the grass is greener on the other side of the fence".

To be continued...