I didn't have access to internet yesterday thus I am posting my article today.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my respect for soldiers is the result of the brainwashing done over the years and which started already in school when I was a child and as such it is an automatic reaction of mine because I react without knowing why I do it; thus I just follow the crowd and what I am told to do.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that whenever I give my respect and honor to soldiers who participate in a war, kill others and destroy others lives then I am equally respecting all what they are doing; thus in reality I give my respect and honor to those who destroy life instead of creating it; at the same time it all shows about my priorities and values - I disrespect life.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that my reaction about respecting soldiers is cleverly controlled and manipulated by the elite, those who are in power and those who benefit from war; through controlling and manipulating the respect for soldiers the elite is capable to continue running the wars for their own benefits while people are asleep and don't see it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to join the army because of my desire to be respected and honored which again is a result of the efforts of the elite to fool me into believing that being a soldier is something deserving respect and honor.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that whenever I accept the belief - that being a soldier is respectful and honorable - as myself then I able to not be practical and assess the situation objectively; thus in those situations I am able to compromise my values and do things which disrespect live ( e.g. killing others ) and which I would normally never do and still I will belief that it is ok and acceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to respect and honor me because I am a soldier without realizing that it is all an automated reaction which has been programmed into me by those who organize wars and benefit from it.